It is not in my personality to make others aware of my personal issues. I have hidden the issues in my marriage and my personal struggles from everyone in my life for years. I was outwardly friendly in public but alienated myself from those closest to me who would see through it and never allowed anyone new to get close enough to see past my outer shell. In crying out to God in frustration, He caused me to see that there were women in my life that I could trust and that what was going on in my life was so much bigger than what I could handle alone. They noticed that something was up with me and I asked for prayer specifically for what was going on. Each of them stood in the gap for me lifting my family up in prayer. They let me know that they were continuing to pray and continued to follow up with me every day or so. It was a huge blessing to know that I was surrounded in the faithful arms of a group of women that has continued to expand to include others who reached out in love and provided support in so many ways. When you reach out you allow the Body of Christ the opportunity to reach in. I'm so glad that these women who know who they are answered my call and God's prompting.
When I realized how deep my trouble was, and that this time there were going to have to be serious adjustments because my husband was pursuing divorce and I was coming apart at the seams. God caused me to remember that in my past I had pulled together teams in a nationwide organization and accomplished tasks that were too big to do alone, that I needed to delegate responsibilities because I could not be all things at all times and do a good job. In 2003, God planted a seed in my mind that I called Collective Genius. My definition for this term is, "Alone, we are all full of doubts, fears, and inadequacies. But, when we come together as a team we become a collective genius of talents and abilities that rival anything we could do or be alone." I knew that the women that God had put there to catch me could help me think and do, because I was unravelling and was scared that I would collapse and lose my children. I didn't know how to get things done, how was I going to move what little stuff I would keep like clothes and pictures since I had already decided I couldn't bear to look at the rest of it? Was there anyone that knew anything about shipping, who could help me fill out court papers that I had been served with? I even needed someone to hold my hand and kept track of what anyone told me because it would just go in one ear and out the other. I seriously for the first time in my life felt incapable of doing anything on my own that had to do with facing what my husband was doing and that I had to take our kids and go. I was stunned. I guess I was really in some form of shock. So, I decided that the idea that surly God had planted that I needed an advisory board and this handful of women could all think better than I could and had connections that I didn't have and could help me process through each step, so I asked one of them who was also my supervisor at the time to email the others and ask if they were willing to get together and brain storm. The email went out and within a week were were sitting in a room at our church planning on how best to help me through it all.
No comments:
Post a Comment